Here’s one of the more heartwarming stories about a listener’s reaction to Centennial and the 10/10/10 release date:

It was a hot Sunday down at Eleventh Lutheran on Ladd Street. Old men were muttering under purple awnings while kids were playing “ice cream maker” on dozens of disabled bicycles.

I walked up to the sun-hat, white-dress girls by the salad kiosk and asked, “What do you like most about the Centennial songs you’ve heard?” They slowly turned toward me and began enthusiastically recalling their favorite bits. One loved the clarinet swells on “Change in Meal of Man.” Another appreciated the metaphoric journey on “A Catalog.” But I was most struck by a girl named “Melodinn Tabs” who spoke the following: “I have come a long way in my long life. Many hardships with abusive friends. Music has always rescued this fragile heart. Centennial is the suture that my cuts have always sought. Thank you for somehow finding me, Debutante.”

And with that, she kissed my brow and whispered, “I mean it. Thank you.”

–keddiz

me: I’m deeply dissatisfied. Not so much with the final product, but with the railroading. All the best songs were left off. More later.

glen: He’s sober about the entire project. Centennial, like all works, involves a collection of mental exercises that bring some sort of satisfaction to the side of our minds that we don’t full understand. But he would prefer to understand his mind fully.

terry sly: She feels that track 56, 72, & 83 probably could have used more backing vocals. She wishes we could have had more time to work on those songs that got the rush job.

seramon manko: His enthusiasm for the project failed to develop. Even so, he often says, “Whatever happens, happens.” We take that to mean he’ll stick with us.

the others: Still trying to get a good grasp of their thoughts. Stay tuned, balloons.

–keddiz

*Glen is no longer allowed to stand up when he keys. Some suggest that no standing keyboard player can overcome the foolishness of it. Stay tuned!

*Now look! Brent didn’t sign on to this to clap hands. And furthermore…

*”Today, I told a kid to shut up.” Brent said this a few weeks ago. We all laughed.

*”At least he builds homes.” I wrote down that quote, too…but I don’t recall why it’s so hilarious.

*The 100 songs of Centennial have been chosen. For the past five days, we’ve been trying painfully to sequence them.

*Lots of infighting right now. Several members have quit the band.

*Many of Glen’s songs were railroaded off of Centennial.

–keddiz

Good evening.  Just because a song is a masterpiece doesn’t mean everyone in the room will recognize it.  Maybe it’s THEIR fault!  The song that sparked the above quotes has some recording issues, but they will be corrected or my name isn’t “Glen.”

I have a five-point plan for fixin’.  It involves using a tried-and-true deb-trick and taking out half the guiro-ing.  Those methods, along with a couple others, will turn this 1-getting song into a beloved lullaby to the doubting Deb.

Fear not, Speculum.  These corrections won’t take too long, but I do ask that you indulge me one last time so that I can do right for once.

….glen

Tonight, Glen will take part in a two-day march to cramville. He’ll need to vocalize on about eight songs and rhythmize two others. After that, he’ll leave town. He’s unsure how it could all get fixed and mixed in time for the cut-off date (06/01/10), but magic offers no details.

–keddiz

Do you feel like you’re always being asked to go on unexpectedly later?  The following is an angry missive that I direct to virtually everyone besides myself:

Going On Later:  An Angry Statement

I’m not asking you to care, but I’ve forgotten if that’s because I don’t ask anything of anyone or if I know you won’t care no matter what I say.  When you step on someone to go one foot further, I understand that you are very much satisfied.  You won’t later reconsider your actions, because you do not reflect on these events or these others, i.e., the me’s of the world.

I will allow myself to be trampled.  It’s not because I like it.  And when I think about it later, I’m displeased totally.  Perhaps one day I’ll grow up enough to take control, but for now, I will soldier on as a civilian allowing myself to be reduced to “dude.”

Ninety-five percent of the theoretical people who’ll read this will not realize I’m talking about them.  This fact satisfies the “”"”artist”"”" in me, but it infuriates the human being in me that I can’t change the world by updating a website.

At this time, I would like to threaten all of you with physical violence.  If you make me kneel down just because of your careless selfishness, I will follow you home and strangle you.  If something odious happens to me, and you’re to blame, and you don’t allow this to even affect or change you, I will follow you home and strangle you.  Don’t act differently than I do, because if you do,

I will follow you home and strangle you.

Don’t get followed home and subsequently die.  Do significantly better than this.  The methods are obvious and easy.  Consider your place in nature.  Understand that it’s the same for all others.  Preserve your brother’s place just as you would hope all others would preserve yours.  It’s not a golden rule.  It’s the pact you made with the earth when your cord was cut.

Believe it or not, I believe in you.  Believe in yourself or go home to your fagazines.  Be on the lookout for Centennial on 10/10/10.

winkedly,

keddiz (in ‘10)

When it happens, will you be ready?

Afternoon, freres. It’s your ol’ pal, Oldie McKeddiz here with a Centennial update. We have over 110 songs that are DONE done. And it looks like we have less than twenty unfinished songs left that we plan to try to address before June. Most of those songs just need a part or two added on. So we’re completely on schedule. We’ll be selecting, then sending off 100 tracks to be mastered in about six weeks.

I understand well that few people will care about the finished project, because everyone feels they’ve seen it all before. (Certainly, I feel like I’VE seen it all before.) But this fact still bothers me at least to an extent. I’d rather offer the world nothing, than have my offerings stepped over. If I’m going to give, I demand that I receive.

That’s no way to live in THIS reality, Keddiz. I know.

But I’ll get over it! The Centennial is dead. Long live Centennial.

–Keddiz

Centennial

by Les Debutantes

reviewed by your faithful, slam-diggedy, uber-reviewer…..Gergen Goggles

If you’re like me, you’re oh so fed up with the posturing of a lot of today’s musicians.  I’m tote tired of the conformists and the sellers out.  As an aficionado, I’d say that CERTAINLY the album is a dying medium.  Believe me, I know.  Bands today are capable (at best) of a song or two catchy enough to be given to a car company.   The album is just a representation of how few ideas a modern band has.  Give me the past ANY day.

Fast forward to today’s date, 10/10/10.  Enter Louisville, KY’s Les Debutantes with Centennial, a 100-song album (with thirty “interludes” between the songs) on six discs.  ”Sprawling” doesn’t cover it.  ”Impenetrable” nearly nails it.  The type of music can be best described as “All” or maybe “Yes” [not the band].   Says J. Brent Stewart, songwriter/bassist/singer/etc, “Do YOU know where the carps are?  It was a real question!”

I’m not sure what the answer is, but let’s be honest:  No one is going to listen your record, Mr. Stewart.  I sure didn’t.  Even if I wanted to, I don’t have time.  How can you properly review something so unwieldy?  Honestly, it’d take a good long year just to do it justice.  That’s why I’m dismissing it out of hand.  What a tangled web we weave!  Also like Mark says, “For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?”  Indeed.  Bless the lord and his works.

But I did skim Centennial, and there is SOME merit here.  The song “Change In Meal of Man” is like nothing I’ve ever heard.  I find myself whistling it all the time.  Whoever wrote that one knew what he was doing.

Sadly, I’ve heard all of this before.  I would basically say that these guys are just part of a long line of recent Louisville brass-ring-grabbers trying to copy the tread ground of either Yim Yamez or Nicolle Scherzinger.   It’s embarrassing, frankly.  Maybe they should have talked to me first?  Wink?

So I’ll rate this record a TWO out of FIVE.  I’ll donate them the TWO just because I don’t feel like fairly judging what I definitely assume would be a ZERO-worthy release.  100 songs? I think not.

UPDATE:

10/11/10–I just listened to Centennial all the way through.  I couldn’t stop!  I just kept putting disc after disc into ye ol’ boombox!  And y’all, I have to say that I’m blown away!  Not only is the great song “Change In Meal Of Man” a masterpiece, there are other songs equally heart-wrenching, moving, rocking and/or socking.  It’s like a fiesta in my ear.  Take “The Pancake House,” J Brent’s favorite song.  It’s a delight.  Also, “Sweeeeeeeeeet.”  And “The Bay of Bobba Nooba Nominee” is the kind of song that would make a sleepy man rise.

So this is a first for me.  I’m changing the rating from TWO to FIVE.  Yes, FIVE out of FIVE for Centennial!  It’s the future of music!

****Gergen Goggles is a fictitious writer living in New York, NY where he shares a golden high-rise condo with his lovely (made up) wife, Anthawnette, and his (make-believe) Husky puppies, Sergeant Fluffy Fuff and Flip Wilson.  Goggles was educated at Yale & Oxford where he majored in journalism and minored in tennis.  His fake hobbies include picking up “a buncha trash” in his neighborhood, telling it straight and hangin’ with his dudes.  He smokes.

Personally, I’ve messed everything up. There’s no one with which to talk about it all.

The evidence lies in all my failures. On 10/10/10, you’ll be able to see it lying there like carrion. Centennial! Eat up!

–glen

He’s a good man. He’s just waiting for 10/10/10 and the (re-)release of Centennial. If you don’t value him for what he can do, then that’s just how it is. Bless his soul.

Keddiz wonders why the path became a thorny one, but then he reads everyone else talking the same way. Then he suggests he’ll rebound, but then understands that while he very well might, he’ll also later return to where one always ends up.

He thinks about how tonight is Tuesday recording at Su Su Studios. Keddiz needs applause from a personal audience, but that’s not on the way. His commitments have let him down.

“So let’s get some tea,” he’ll say. And you won’t and that’s how it will be.

–not Keddiz

Rub-a-Deb-Deb

It’s an abysmal shame that Les Debutantes weren’t around in the 1960’s, because we would have needed them as much then as we need them now.  In a world where edges are trimmed and value is skimmed, this band of outsiders from mediocre Louisville, KY go out on a limb.  Unafraid of what the reactions would be to their controversial titles, sentiments & methods, Les Debutantes bob alone in a sea that listeners no longer wish to sail with discerning paddles.

Their most recent release, Centennial, will be a 100-song album on five discs.  Insiders have been passing around demo’s for a few years now (of which there are 160+).  Very few genres have gone unexplored.  Once labeled as “circus music,” the Debs’ heralded sound can now be labeled as “everything,” “whatever a particular listener seems to want passed to them,” and “who cares.”  Says band “member” Keddiz:

We do get lost amidst a flooded market, but this is probably for the best.  Best not to be tainted by the influence of anyone but ourselves.  And Glen feeds off the world’s disinterest.  I just hope that someday there’ll be someone in my life that I can count on, because right now, I’ve got nothing.  If only I could persuade myself to know that expectations will never be met but destinations can be perpetually uncovered!

Be sure to be there for all the action on 10/10/10.

–Liza Ephranny, April 2010

Now, I know many of you bristle at that. I was no different from you just two weeks ago. But this is part of the creative process. Understand your audience.The best way to do that is to find a group of people–or have your company do it–and see what they would change. Some people would call this selling out, but I say this:

I know what I’m about. The integrity of the project is preserved somewhere. If anyone were to want the pure original…well, it’s only an email attachment away. And no matter what kinds of filters Centennial is shown through, no one can take away its essence. It’ll be there in every auditory morsel. That goes for all creations certainly, but particularly for this one.

Here’s one of the fifteen promo tracks. We sent this one to eastern Canada and India/Bangladesh:

Centennial Promo [#3]

his legs are the concern

We’ve come so far to just give up. That’s why it’s with great sadness (masking tremendous relief) that I must tell you that we’ve completely abandoned the project. One hundred songs is just too many. Keep up with this blog (of sorts) to see what the next phase of Operation Centennial will be! Believe me, the establishment is already faxing over cease-and-desist memos.

[Disappointed? Tell us! When people organize, changes can be made!]

It’s time to clean up our act! For years now, Les Debutantes have been doing some unwanted things. But it’s now time to connect with everyone else. That would be….YOU! Look at you! You’re not ready for the SECRET songs. They’ll make you feel unexpected, inner elements. They’ll make you complain to your friends. Those friends of yours are, frankly, fools. Just think of the negative repercussions those friends will bring about! It’s time you set off on your own. Who needs a bunch of hangers-on? Be a man! ….Yeah, you won’t. I can’t trust you. You’ll hear what I say, and even openly agree. But then when it’s time to act, you’ll rip up the pact.

We had so many plans. They’re all ruined. You’re to blame.

Remember though: On 10/10/10, Centennial will be at your door. Don’t open it.

–keddiz

Last Thursday was canceled due to pants that needed changing. And I read on the internet about the weekend’s “kick-ass shows.” Good to hear, Brent! Continued good luck with your other band, The Ravenna Colt, which keeps its information on the website below and gives its readers information on Brent as well as pictures of Brent. All Brent, all the time:

http://www.theravennacolt.com/

Tomorrow, we will potentially get together to do further schoolin’ for droolin’ (by way of noodlin’ and doodlin’). Be there for all the action. Dr. Feel Speculum only has so many folding chairs in the crawlspaces of Su Su Studios, so be prepared to sit in our warm laps.

Again, can’t say enough about this past weekend.

BEST,
keddiz

The Speculum roast was sizzling on the oven-top. Mmmm? You could smell the pleasure even on the porch. While I was eating it, I could hear Grandpa Jones describing it to me. It’s as though he were standing on the spoon detailing each bite. This was quite a unique experience for me because all my roasts are soy.

When the food was consumed, the doctor turned to me, put up his hands as though he were pushing buttons on a video game controller and said, “Lil’ mixin’?” And so it began.

We gave up on Pack It Inn. That song still needs parts from past songs to be cut-and-pasted in. It’s the ol’ “this has been going on too long” trick.

Then we tackled “The Game of the Criss-Cross.” Feel noted that the “organ parts are terrible and they have always BEEN terrible, so either redo them or consider me out [of the project altogether].” It was an empty threat, but a potent one. I will midi my way back into his favor.

Finally, we absolutely nailed the mixing of “Hell Is Real.” You could hear dogs out the window barking pleasurably for miles! (Note: The dogs are one yard over, in an interminably deep, stomach-churning cavern.) I’ll never forget the lack of enthusiasm we showed to (ostensibly) mask our throbbing fervor for this our two coins for the charon. We’ve already burned a cd of it, put it on the wall of Su-Su-Studios and hung our hats directly on it.

Thursday should get back to the Mormon normal. I expect we’ll have emotions to convey. (We tend to bottle them up on Wednesdays.) I’ll tell you all about our field trip to the dog races and how our performance on the Main Lawn was wrought with violent dissatisfaction. We’ll also reveal the winner of the Centennial perennial pot that has been thriving in Keddiz’ kitchen for weeks now. You’ll need to wash off the bottom of it.

–glen

The mixing begins Tuesday. The question remains: Can you make a passable paragraph from 168 consonents? The Debutante answer continues to be, “Yzz Ww Cnn!”

Tuesday was jam-packed with information from the newly-returned Ass of Bass. He told us all about Ishmael Chinstrap and his friendly cadre. They’re taking over the great upper south-east with no regard for anyone.

We also learned from the A of B all about who might be able to score a little blowcaine. (Eh? Eh? Wink wink! Let’s do it!) And just in general, it was brought to our attention that life on the road is better than you’d ever imagined! Picture it: Pizza rolls, girls, rage, injuries, use the bathroom in the club, and we forgot toothpaste. Who out there plays the glock? Email us before this weekend!

And Andy dropped the tomato on me.

Take care,

K

I have walked over our city’s pipes and headed alone to the alternate town, one with no houses or lights, no churches or pets. This town is the one that depends on what I choose to do. If you know anything about me, you know that my choices leave me longing for the old city. But once you leave it, no one wishes for your return. It’s too bad, because I’m so very sad here.

10/10/10 won’t help me.

–Keddiz