If there’s plenty to say, why aren’t we saying it?

There’s plenty to say. Rather than say it, we’re choosing to not force ourselves to spend effort conveying it online. That’s why we’re going to coffee shops, churches and festivals to shake hands and answer questions.

Here’s one of the more heartwarming stories about a listener’s reaction to Centennial and the 10/10/10 release date:

It was a hot Sunday down at Eleventh Lutheran on Ladd Street. Old men were muttering under purple awnings while kids were playing “ice cream maker” on dozens of disabled bicycles.

I walked up to the sun-hat, white-dress girls by the salad kiosk and asked, “What do you like most about the Centennial songs you’ve heard?” They slowly turned toward me and began enthusiastically recalling their favorite bits. One loved the clarinet swells on “Change in Meal of Man.” Another appreciated the metaphoric journey on “A Catalog.” But I was most struck by a girl named “Melodinn Tabs” who spoke the following: “I have come a long way in my long life. Many hardships with abusive friends. Music has always rescued this fragile heart. Centennial is the suture that my cuts have always sought. Thank you for somehow finding me, Debutante.”

And with that, she kissed my brow and whispered, “I mean it. Thank you.”

–keddiz

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With Centennial finished…

…and with only mastering & production left, where does that leave Les Debutantes? Here is a status report:

me: I’m deeply dissatisfied. Not so much with the final product, but with the railroading. All the best songs were left off. More later.

glen: He’s sober about the entire project. Centennial, like all works, involves a collection of mental exercises that bring some sort of satisfaction to the side of our minds that we don’t full understand. But he would prefer to understand his mind fully.

terry sly: She feels that track 56, 72, & 83 probably could have used more backing vocals. She wishes we could have had more time to work on those songs that got the rush job.

seramon manko: His enthusiasm for the project failed to develop. Even so, he often says, “Whatever happens, happens.” We take that to mean he’ll stick with us.

the others: Still trying to get a good grasp of their thoughts. Stay tuned, balloons.

–keddiz

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Pulling Black Spag From His Bag: Mixing finishes with a capital “Z”!

The naysayers will not have their day.  The “Cul de Sac of Creativity”  will be denied no longer.  The dream is made real.

It’s true, final mixing on “Centennial” is complete.  This was “Tweak Week”, which was our final chance to make any changes, and we went out on a high note.  I tracked fuzz bass and a new backing vocal on “Alright Alright”,  Glen and I joined our voices to pull the coda of the newly retitled “Shimmy’s Sham” together, and “Your Open Heart Becomes a Grave” received an overhaul which left it sparkling.

And rather fittingly, the last song we worked on was “Zabaglione Son, S’All I Quire”.  Glen told us what it was about.  I’m not pleased.  And what of Bootsy, Rerun and Mitsy?

It is done. You can no longer deny it anymore than I can keep making up lies about it. Next week we take it to get mastered by Kevin Ratterman, who has been a major supporter in getting this thing done.  Then I’m getting married.  If I am eaten by sharks on my  Jamaican honeymoon, “Centennial” is still finished. And nothing save the end of the world can prevent it from reaching your hot hands on 10/10/10.

PS: I don’t know if there are sharks in Jamaica. There are certainly parks, though.

“We lost our lives

Jamaican sharks

Came eating our parts

it starts

to hurt

and spurt

our body parts

crunching around in its mouth

and circling around

the tasteless fjords

we go – and so

we float away

I’m hoping to meet

Jamaican Sharks”

- by Brent Stewart

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When Steeve Winnwood stands in Traffic, it’s dangerous

Some points to cover:

*Glen is no longer allowed to stand up when he keys. Some suggest that no standing keyboard player can overcome the foolishness of it. Stay tuned!

*Now look! Brent didn’t sign on to this to clap hands. And furthermore…

*”Today, I told a kid to shut up.” Brent said this a few weeks ago. We all laughed.

*”At least he builds homes.” I wrote down that quote, too…but I don’t recall why it’s so hilarious.

*The 100 songs of Centennial have been chosen. For the past five days, we’ve been trying painfully to sequence them.

*Lots of infighting right now. Several members have quit the band.

*Many of Glen’s songs were railroaded off of Centennial.

–keddiz

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Hurtful Words with Andy Hurt (“That’s What She Said So That’s What Andy Hurt Typed” Edition

Can’t wait to start dissecting this thing and get it all wrapped up. As you expected, I have many issues with these results. It gets taken out so everything else gets bumped up a place. Where are the results? Was there an attachment? Glen will have plenty of anger to share, I’m sure. That might free up some spots. Quit trying to soften things! It starts with you guys, and then I show up halfway through and ruin it. I think it’ll be a fairly smooth negotiation, provided that Glen is heavily sedated beforehand.

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Hurtful Words with Andy Hurt

A Quick One:

Tonight is the last night for the recording of Centennial, an album that was not started in the century that will see it’s completion.

Although I will miss the making of this one, you can rest assured that there will be a next one and it will be shorter in length and execution.

We’ll see you at some shows in the coming months and, technology and knowledge-of-how-to-use-technology willing, we’ll have some nice video and/or audio treats coming your way.

10/10/10 awaits.

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Hurtful Words with Andy Hurt

Recording was interrupted on Tuesday when Brent, the movie lover/doll baby collector of the bunch, brought in what is believed to be the greatest movie  ever made about the greatest story ever told about the greatest life ever lived. The movie was made, and immediately shelved for reasons known to those who dwell in the deepest nether recesses of the industry. It’s rare, and to possess a copy is possess that which many consider unpossessable. The movie is called “Sit On My Cane” and it was directed by, and stars the great, yet mostly completely unknown, Organ Swelles.

I won’t ruin it for you, and I’m not a movie critic by trade, but…imagine…okay, have you ever seen something with scabs that shouldn’t have scabs, but you were okay with it? Then, that thing with scabs ended up sitting on your shoulder drinking through your straw, and you flinch, but don’t leave? It was like that, a lot like that, actually.

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regarding tuesday, 05/18/10….from the thick, wooded glen

How do you feel about it?
–Dr. Feel Speculum as he walked out of the room
Who did drums on this?
–words spoken incredulously by Hurtful Words Hurt
What about my songs?
–Keddiz
This song will get nothing but 1’s, but you have veto power.
–the Ass of Bass delicately explained the song’s fate in terms of rankings and           inclusion on Centennial

Good evening.  Just because a song is a masterpiece doesn’t mean everyone in the room will recognize it.  Maybe it’s THEIR fault!  The song that sparked the above quotes has some recording issues, but they will be corrected or my name isn’t “Glen.”

I have a five-point plan for fixin’.  It involves using a tried-and-true deb-trick and taking out half the guiro-ing.  Those methods, along with a couple others, will turn this 1-getting song into a beloved lullaby to the doubting Deb.

Fear not, Speculum.  These corrections won’t take too long, but I do ask that you indulge me one last time so that I can do right for once.

….glen

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I Hesitate to Call That Funky: The Ending To “Mind Paper” Story

Time is growing shorter than green tortoise garter. Some fight and flounder, but one cannot barter. And in the face of this, Centennial continues to record itself with the able arms of debutantes. On 10/10/10, these ‘tantes will be men.

Tonight, Glen will take part in a two-day march to cramville. He’ll need to vocalize on about eight songs and rhythmize two others. After that, he’ll leave town. He’s unsure how it could all get fixed and mixed in time for the cut-off date (06/01/10), but magic offers no details.

–keddiz

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Funny out-of-context quote from Tuesday’s recording session goes here

I haven’t posted here in awhile. I am busy, just, like, in general. Also, I haven’t logged in here in a long time, and the page is all weird looking. Things are disappearing off of the sheet. I can’t even see the word I’m typing right now. I hope it looks like “this”, but it could just as likely end up like “yjod”.

Time is growing short. You can tell Danny is ready to have us move along, not just because we found all of our possessions sitting int h midle of the floor (as though he were breaking up with us and telling us he could no longer have us lounging about his place, yet another deadbeat boyfriend who is breaking his heart) but rather because he continually hit us in the back of the head with a sharp stick saying “Git! Git!”

So “git” we shall, but not for a couple more weeks.

June 1st is it. Yup. More than 5 years into the thing (and by “more than 5″ I mean that I am not really sure if the real number is ‘6″ or “57″) and we now have our final, official stop date. June 1st, 2010. The day the music died.

And really, it’s time. Things are actually wrapping up pretty much on schedule.  Next week Glen will tackle his final vocals and key duties. Then he’s going to Ireland. Or Ire Land. Orida. Idaho. Something. I don’t remember what he was saying. But he’s going away for a week, and that will be the week of Brent.

By my reckoning I have to do final vocals on about two and a half songs, bass on about three, and then various tweaks and whatnot.

So, we are there.

In the meanwhile, I just paid to have this domain renewed, as well as paying my subscription rate for the service.  So this website, it costs money, which means we need to get more use out of it.

So, unless Glen and Andy start posting more, I have no choice but to start renting space to advertisers.

We’re going to give it a trial run today. Let us know what you think!

Ahem.

:cough:

This is Brent Stewart for Mammy’s Kitchen.  Have you ever eaten food served from a kitchen?  Have you supped with a matron monikered “Mammy”? Did you find the name racially insensitive? I didn’t, until I was told that I was supposed to, and now I do. But this doesn’t matter. What matters is that you eat there. Hot browns. Corn dogs. It’s right there by the courthouse, in downtown Bardstown. Conveniently located, even. Mammy’s got something good to eat. Will you meet her challenge?

Mammy’s Kitchen.  Mammy’s Kitchen.  The name itself smells like oatmeal.

Come and get it.

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Amidst his fagazines, he asks to instead be your dreampitcher

Believe in yourself or go home.
–The Ass of Bass, 05/04/10

“Dude, can we go on first?”
–Everyone, circa Always

Do you feel like you’re always being asked to go on unexpectedly later?  The following is an angry missive that I direct to virtually everyone besides myself:


Going On Later:  An Angry Statement

I’m not asking you to care, but I’ve forgotten if that’s because I don’t ask anything of anyone or if I know you won’t care no matter what I say.  When you step on someone to go one foot further, I understand that you are very much satisfied.  You won’t later reconsider your actions, because you do not reflect on these events or these others, i.e., the me’s of the world.

I will allow myself to be trampled.  It’s not because I like it.  And when I think about it later, I’m displeased totally.  Perhaps one day I’ll grow up enough to take control, but for now, I will soldier on as a civilian allowing myself to be reduced to “dude.”

Ninety-five percent of the theoretical people who’ll read this will not realize I’m talking about them.  This fact satisfies the “”"”artist”"”" in me, but it infuriates the human being in me that I can’t change the world by updating a website.

At this time, I would like to threaten all of you with physical violence.  If you make me kneel down just because of your careless selfishness, I will follow you home and strangle you.  If something odious happens to me, and you’re to blame, and you don’t allow this to even affect or change you, I will follow you home and strangle you.  Don’t act differently than I do, because if you do,

I will follow you home and strangle you.

Don’t get followed home and subsequently die.  Do significantly better than this.  The methods are obvious and easy.  Consider your place in nature.  Understand that it’s the same for all others.  Preserve your brother’s place just as you would hope all others would preserve yours.  It’s not a golden rule.  It’s the pact you made with the earth when your cord was cut.

Believe it or not, I believe in you.  Believe in yourself or go home to your fagazines.  Be on the lookout for Centennial on 10/10/10.

winkedly,

keddiz (in ‘10)

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Best to Never Leave Su Su Studios

Of course not.

When it happens, will you be ready?

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You’re starting to get turd on the polishing cloth

And the shammwwow is only so wide.

Afternoon, freres. It’s your ol’ pal, Oldie McKeddiz here with a Centennial update. We have over 110 songs that are DONE done. And it looks like we have less than twenty unfinished songs left that we plan to try to address before June. Most of those songs just need a part or two added on. So we’re completely on schedule. We’ll be selecting, then sending off 100 tracks to be mastered in about six weeks.

I understand well that few people will care about the finished project, because everyone feels they’ve seen it all before. (Certainly, I feel like I’VE seen it all before.) But this fact still bothers me at least to an extent. I’d rather offer the world nothing, than have my offerings stepped over. If I’m going to give, I demand that I receive.

That’s no way to live in THIS reality, Keddiz. I know.

But I’ll get over it! The Centennial is dead. Long live Centennial.

–Keddiz

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Hurtful Words with Andy Hurt

Well, it happened.

I heard a song in contention for inclusion on Centennial and I didn’t remember playing on it. That tells me that I have given too much to the cause. I have upended my life to see this come to life. I have killed, metaphorically, in order that Centennial shall live, metaphorically for a very long time and now, rest assured, physically.

7 wives, 12 kids, and 14 dead pets later, I can see the light at the end of the Centunnel.

If you’re a believer, pray for me. If you, like me, believe in nothing, have a drink and laugh at those who waste their time believing in the kind of magic other than what you’ll hear blasting, muffled of course because it will be cold out by 10/10/10 and this premise requires that you be standing on a sidewalk in front of a house, from the speakers in the living rooms of teenagers and their parents across the nations of this earth.

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fictitious, (seemingly) negative review of Centennial (but with Debutante redemption at the end!)

REVIEW from 10/10/10

Centennial

by Les Debutantes

reviewed by your faithful, slam-diggedy, uber-reviewer…..Gergen Goggles

If you’re like me, you’re oh so fed up with the posturing of a lot of today’s musicians.  I’m tote tired of the conformists and the sellers out.  As an aficionado, I’d say that CERTAINLY the album is a dying medium.  Believe me, I know.  Bands today are capable (at best) of a song or two catchy enough to be given to a car company.   The album is just a representation of how few ideas a modern band has.  Give me the past ANY day.

Fast forward to today’s date, 10/10/10.  Enter Louisville, KY’s Les Debutantes with Centennial, a 100-song album (with thirty “interludes” between the songs) on six discs.  ”Sprawling” doesn’t cover it.  ”Impenetrable” nearly nails it.  The type of music can be best described as “All” or maybe “Yes” [not the band].   Says J. Brent Stewart, songwriter/bassist/singer/etc, “Do YOU know where the carps are?  It was a real question!”

I’m not sure what the answer is, but let’s be honest:  No one is going to listen your record, Mr. Stewart.  I sure didn’t.  Even if I wanted to, I don’t have time.  How can you properly review something so unwieldy?  Honestly, it’d take a good long year just to do it justice.  That’s why I’m dismissing it out of hand.  What a tangled web we weave!  Also like Mark says, “For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?”  Indeed.  Bless the lord and his works.

But I did skim Centennial, and there is SOME merit here.  The song “Change In Meal of Man” is like nothing I’ve ever heard.  I find myself whistling it all the time.  Whoever wrote that one knew what he was doing.

Sadly, I’ve heard all of this before.  I would basically say that these guys are just part of a long line of recent Louisville brass-ring-grabbers trying to copy the tread ground of either Yim Yamez or Nicolle Scherzinger.   It’s embarrassing, frankly.  Maybe they should have talked to me first?  Wink?

So I’ll rate this record a TWO out of FIVE.  I’ll donate them the TWO just because I don’t feel like fairly judging what I definitely assume would be a ZERO-worthy release.  100 songs? I think not.

UPDATE:

10/11/10–I just listened to Centennial all the way through.  I couldn’t stop!  I just kept putting disc after disc into ye ol’ boombox!  And y’all, I have to say that I’m blown away!  Not only is the great song “Change In Meal Of Man” a masterpiece, there are other songs equally heart-wrenching, moving, rocking and/or socking.  It’s like a fiesta in my ear.  Take “The Pancake House,” J Brent’s favorite song.  It’s a delight.  Also, “Sweeeeeeeeeet.”  And “The Bay of Bobba Nooba Nominee” is the kind of song that would make a sleepy man rise.

So this is a first for me.  I’m changing the rating from TWO to FIVE.  Yes, FIVE out of FIVE for Centennial!  It’s the future of music!

****Gergen Goggles is a fictitious writer living in New York, NY where he shares a golden high-rise condo with his lovely (made up) wife, Anthawnette, and his (make-believe) Husky puppies, Sergeant Fluffy Fuff and Flip Wilson.  Goggles was educated at Yale & Oxford where he majored in journalism and minored in tennis.  His fake hobbies include picking up “a buncha trash” in his neighborhood, telling it straight and hangin’ with his dudes.  He smokes.

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